An Open Letter to All Those Who Love My Kids

Parenting is a tough job. I’m not just talking about the long nights, endless messes, or debates over whether or not ketchup counts as a dinner food. I’m talking about how we create this wonderful little human—a piece of our heart wandering around outside of our bodies—and are expected to send them out into the world. A world we, as adults, know can be scary and often demoralizing.

There’s a natural instinct to protect them. And not just their bodies, but their minds and hearts as well. We want to wrap them up in a safe little cocoon where nothing can ever hurt them—to keep them far from the sometimes harsh realities of life. But we’re forced to admit that not only is that desire just a touch impractical, but it also does our children a great disservice. Because, for all of the ways the world can break you down, it is also filled with so much wonder and adventure. There is so much out there for our children to experience, and it wouldn’t be fair to keep them from it.

And so, we learn to let go.

Little by little, we watch them grow and wade slowly out into the world. All the while, we hold our breath and hope—perhaps unrealistically—that the world will only show them kindness.

As a parent, this is something we learn to live with. It’s a hope we carry with us everywhere we go. And, somedays when the world looks especially dark, that can be a heavy dream to carry.

But for some parents, we are lucky not to have to carry it alone. We are fortunate enough to have been blessed by the presence of others in our lives that care deeply for our children. I’m talking about the family—the grandparents, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, the found family, and every relation in-between. I’m talking about the teachers, aides, therapists, and counselors.

To every single person out there who loves my children, this letter is for you.

 There is so much out there to fear when it comes to our kids. As the world continues to change and our kids grow up, that fear only seems to expand over time. It sits heavy in our hearts.

But then there’s you.

We are so beyond lucky to have you in our lives—in whatever capacity you can be. Knowing that you think of them when they’re not around, and that you watch over them when they are, soothes my soul in a way I’m not sure can be fully explained. You don’t have to love my kids. The fact that you do is a gift I promise to never take for granted.

We are so lucky to have such an amazing community of wonderful people who carry love in their hearts for our children. The support that each and every one of you show them helps them to feel secure and cared for, giving them the confidence to live life boldly and authentically.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I don’t think that’s necessarily true. There are those who grow up to be incredible people with little to no support from those around them. But, I also know that it is often a lonely, heartbreaking uphill battle for them to become the people they are today. So, no, it doesn’t have to take a village. The fact that we have one—a damn good one at that—is a blessing beyond measure.

I wake up every day knowing that when my children leave my side—whether they’re going to school, therapy, or being looked after by a family member or a friend—they are well taken care of. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. I know you are there with them, easing the sting of their struggles and celebrating their successes.

This wasn’t always true. We have faced situations where our children were placed in environments with those who did not have their best interests at heart. Those who showed a real disregard for their well-being. I know that not every person out there who takes on a significant role in my kids’ lives will love them. They may not even truly care for them. But, as a parent, you expect at least a basic level of regard from someone you entrust your child to.

Those experiences, thankfully over now, still weight heavily on me. But, they do make me that much more grateful for you.

It’s no small thing. The fact that you have opened your heart to love a child that isn’t your own is a gift of selfless love that we will cherish forever. Even if, for whatever reason, one day you are no longer a part of our lives, I promise that we will still think of you. By caring for our kids you have left an imprint on them—on all of us—that will last a lifetime.

I want you to know just how grateful we are to you. You have helped to shape our kids into the people they are and the people they will be someday in the future. And I know that they are, without a doubt, better off for having had you in their lives.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for loving my children.